Monday, November 27, 2006
Danger! Honey Babies
Mae's grandma is SO not in my good books today. She's fired, actually. Not from being a grandma, of course, but from babysitting - at least for the forseable future.
On Saturday night, my husband and I drove out to his mom and dad's place and left Mae with them while we went out for dinner. They are incredibly enthusiastic babysitters and we've left her with them before. And, just like the other times, everything seemed to go fine. She cried a little, they said, probably because of some gas pains, but she was otherwise our usual little angel. We said thank you, packed up her truckload of toys, mats, bottles and diapers and drove home.
But the next day, my mother-in-law called just to chat, and she just so happened to mention this trick she'd used to stop Mae from crying - something I should keep in mind, she said. What she did was dip her soother in honey. I said, "You what? You what what what?" And then I tried very hard not to freak out, but it didn't go so well. She could tell how upset I was.
And, at first, she seemed upset that I was upset. She couldn't understand what the big deal was. Just a little honey, right? She bought it at the grocery store, so it must be safe to eat. But, first of all, why would she put ANYTHING in our three-month-old babies' mouth that we didn't leave expressly for that purpose? Doesn't she know that babies under six-months aren't supposed to eat anything except breast milk or formula? I guess the answer is, pretty obviously, no.
And, much more importantly, how did she not know that it's dangerous to feed honey to babies? Hello?? Botulism?? Potentially deadly?? There's a warning right on the label??
She said "Oh no," because she used to dip her children's soothers in honey and they're fine, fine, fine. I told her to go get her honey out of the cupboard and read the warning. And then she felt very bad and appologized. And she said she didn't know. And I know that she didn't know. And I know I'm being too hard on her. But, more than the honey itself, this is the problem: she doesn't know what she doesn't know. In part, it's understandable.
The recommendations for taking care of babies are changing all the time. I mean, it wasn't so long ago that parent's were told to always put their babies to sleep on their stomachs (I guess maybe to keep them from choking on spit up?), but today it's all about "back to sleep" (because of SIDS). And that's just one example among zillions.
Except that doesn't really solve the problem of how I'm supposed to tell her the current recommendations without offending her or seeming to imply that she did it the wrong way with her kids. When I explained to her how to warm up the bottle one time (i.e., not in boiling water and not in the microwave) she took it personally. "Oh, I know THAT" she said. But how am I supposed to know that she knows unless I tell her and make sure?
Anyway, after I got off the phone, I went online to look up the dangers of giving honey to babies, so I'd know what symptoms to watch for just in case. I found out that it's extremely unlikely that Mae will get sick from botulism spores in honey and that, even if she were to, it can be treated very successfully if caught in time.
I left the screen open so I could show it to my husband when he got home and he laughed at me because in the search field in google I'd written "danger honey babies". I was mad because he didn't seem as scared as I was, but today I can admit that it's a little bit funny. Just picture these little babies in bee suits, crawling toward you with murderous looks in their eyes. Danger, danger.
Sigh. Okay. I will chill out. I will maybe even lift the babysitting ban in time. But only if she promises not to feed Mae anything we didn't leave there for her. And I will leave copious amounts of instructions from now on. And if she's offended by that, she can just be offended. Mae's safety is about a million times more important than whether or not my mother-in-law thinks I'm nice. Plus, in the end, I'm pretty sure she'll understand that I'm just trying to follow the current recommendations, which is exactly what she did for her own kids.
On Saturday night, my husband and I drove out to his mom and dad's place and left Mae with them while we went out for dinner. They are incredibly enthusiastic babysitters and we've left her with them before. And, just like the other times, everything seemed to go fine. She cried a little, they said, probably because of some gas pains, but she was otherwise our usual little angel. We said thank you, packed up her truckload of toys, mats, bottles and diapers and drove home.
But the next day, my mother-in-law called just to chat, and she just so happened to mention this trick she'd used to stop Mae from crying - something I should keep in mind, she said. What she did was dip her soother in honey. I said, "You what? You what what what?" And then I tried very hard not to freak out, but it didn't go so well. She could tell how upset I was.
And, at first, she seemed upset that I was upset. She couldn't understand what the big deal was. Just a little honey, right? She bought it at the grocery store, so it must be safe to eat. But, first of all, why would she put ANYTHING in our three-month-old babies' mouth that we didn't leave expressly for that purpose? Doesn't she know that babies under six-months aren't supposed to eat anything except breast milk or formula? I guess the answer is, pretty obviously, no.
And, much more importantly, how did she not know that it's dangerous to feed honey to babies? Hello?? Botulism?? Potentially deadly?? There's a warning right on the label??
She said "Oh no," because she used to dip her children's soothers in honey and they're fine, fine, fine. I told her to go get her honey out of the cupboard and read the warning. And then she felt very bad and appologized. And she said she didn't know. And I know that she didn't know. And I know I'm being too hard on her. But, more than the honey itself, this is the problem: she doesn't know what she doesn't know. In part, it's understandable.
The recommendations for taking care of babies are changing all the time. I mean, it wasn't so long ago that parent's were told to always put their babies to sleep on their stomachs (I guess maybe to keep them from choking on spit up?), but today it's all about "back to sleep" (because of SIDS). And that's just one example among zillions.
Except that doesn't really solve the problem of how I'm supposed to tell her the current recommendations without offending her or seeming to imply that she did it the wrong way with her kids. When I explained to her how to warm up the bottle one time (i.e., not in boiling water and not in the microwave) she took it personally. "Oh, I know THAT" she said. But how am I supposed to know that she knows unless I tell her and make sure?
Anyway, after I got off the phone, I went online to look up the dangers of giving honey to babies, so I'd know what symptoms to watch for just in case. I found out that it's extremely unlikely that Mae will get sick from botulism spores in honey and that, even if she were to, it can be treated very successfully if caught in time.
I left the screen open so I could show it to my husband when he got home and he laughed at me because in the search field in google I'd written "danger honey babies". I was mad because he didn't seem as scared as I was, but today I can admit that it's a little bit funny. Just picture these little babies in bee suits, crawling toward you with murderous looks in their eyes. Danger, danger.
Sigh. Okay. I will chill out. I will maybe even lift the babysitting ban in time. But only if she promises not to feed Mae anything we didn't leave there for her. And I will leave copious amounts of instructions from now on. And if she's offended by that, she can just be offended. Mae's safety is about a million times more important than whether or not my mother-in-law thinks I'm nice. Plus, in the end, I'm pretty sure she'll understand that I'm just trying to follow the current recommendations, which is exactly what she did for her own kids.
