Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Hang-Ups, Hook-Ups, and Holding Out
When I was a teenager, my mom let me have sleepovers... with boys... in our house. Most people I tell that to are shocked. They had parents more of the "don't let me catch you so much as tongue kissing until you're at least 27" variety.
It might sound like an irresponsible approach to some people but, for us, it worked. She gave me all the information I needed (i.e., Use condoms AND foam AND consider taking the pill. Don't let anyone pressure you. Talk to me if you have questions or problems.) and then she made sure I had a safe place to do what I was going to do (if I was going to do it) and then she let me make my own decisions. She trusted me, and I generally made good decisions when it came to sex, alcohol and drugs.
Mae is one. We're a long, long way off from having to make decisions about what freedoms she will or won't have as a teenager but, all the same, it never hurts to start thinking about these things, and I loved - adored - absolutely can't say enough good things about the latest book I am reviewing for the Parent Blogger's network: girlology Hang-Ups, Hook-Ups, and Holding Out: Stuff you need to know about your body, sex, and dating by Melisa Holmes, M.D. and Trish Hutchison, M.D.
This book answers all the health-, sex- and relationship-type questions teenage girls are probably too embarrassed to ask... from the heart-wrenching: "I said the L word and my BF said nothing. Now what?"... to the truly puzzling: "Is it weird that one of my boobs is bigger than the other?"... to the downright terrifying: "My friend was raped while she was drunk at a party. She won't tell anyone. How can I help her?"
The authors/doctors tackle these and other questions in a down-to-earth, non-judgmental, teen-friendly way. The book is packed with information (even I learned a thing or two or three) but uses accessible language and never condescends. The format is pretty cool, too. Each chapter begins with a section called "She did What?" which tells a 'real life' story about a group of teens. And each chapter ends with a neat, doodle-inspired diagrams that walk the reader through the possible consequences of different choices. All in all, I have to say "Horray for this book." It's a balanced, informative, fun-to-read guide that treats teens with the respect they deserve.
And as for Mae, when we do reach the teen years, will we be as trusting as my mom was? Honestly, she's so little. It's hard to think about right now. It's one of those parental bridges you can't know how you'll cross until you get there. I do know that I will keep this book handy though, and that I hope to follow its approach. And, because the authors really say it best, here's a little snippet from the intro for parents to finish off the review:
It might sound like an irresponsible approach to some people but, for us, it worked. She gave me all the information I needed (i.e., Use condoms AND foam AND consider taking the pill. Don't let anyone pressure you. Talk to me if you have questions or problems.) and then she made sure I had a safe place to do what I was going to do (if I was going to do it) and then she let me make my own decisions. She trusted me, and I generally made good decisions when it came to sex, alcohol and drugs.
Mae is one. We're a long, long way off from having to make decisions about what freedoms she will or won't have as a teenager but, all the same, it never hurts to start thinking about these things, and I loved - adored - absolutely can't say enough good things about the latest book I am reviewing for the Parent Blogger's network: girlology Hang-Ups, Hook-Ups, and Holding Out: Stuff you need to know about your body, sex, and dating by Melisa Holmes, M.D. and Trish Hutchison, M.D.
This book answers all the health-, sex- and relationship-type questions teenage girls are probably too embarrassed to ask... from the heart-wrenching: "I said the L word and my BF said nothing. Now what?"... to the truly puzzling: "Is it weird that one of my boobs is bigger than the other?"... to the downright terrifying: "My friend was raped while she was drunk at a party. She won't tell anyone. How can I help her?"
The authors/doctors tackle these and other questions in a down-to-earth, non-judgmental, teen-friendly way. The book is packed with information (even I learned a thing or two or three) but uses accessible language and never condescends. The format is pretty cool, too. Each chapter begins with a section called "She did What?" which tells a 'real life' story about a group of teens. And each chapter ends with a neat, doodle-inspired diagrams that walk the reader through the possible consequences of different choices. All in all, I have to say "Horray for this book." It's a balanced, informative, fun-to-read guide that treats teens with the respect they deserve.
And as for Mae, when we do reach the teen years, will we be as trusting as my mom was? Honestly, she's so little. It's hard to think about right now. It's one of those parental bridges you can't know how you'll cross until you get there. I do know that I will keep this book handy though, and that I hope to follow its approach. And, because the authors really say it best, here's a little snippet from the intro for parents to finish off the review:
"Making demands and saying "you will act this way" is find for young children, but teens will soon be "out there" on their own. They need to know how to think, decide, and act on what is important to them. They need guidance in establishing their personal values, but in the end, the choices are theirs to make. If they are given the opportunity to thoughtfully and individually establish their personal goals and claim them as their own, they can be much more successful in sticking to them. "
